Asiago Cheese

Where I was: On a plane flying from Detroit to Rhode Island. The woman in front of me filled most of your standard East Coast stereotypes. She was animated, loud, unintentionally brash, and dropping her “r” like they weren’t even part of the English language. Now let me clarify that my mother is originally from Massachusetts and I was on the way to visit my aunt who is also very New England, so I have a special place in my heart for those dropped r’s and voice that fills a large plane with comments that may or may not be politically correct. Honestly, if I had the accent, I would likely be considered the stereotypical East Coaster except that I grew up in Colorado so my “neutral” speech is slower to attract the attention of conversation collectors like myself. Anyway, the woman, like much of the East Coast including my mother, was at least part Italian and by default passionate about cheese. It is both a blessing and a curse to have an Italian palette. While you, the Italian American who was force fed tripe when you were a child and thought 2 gallons of olive oil “just incase” was natural for every family, you still inherited a passion for food. While this is a good thing if you have your own cooking show or surround yourself with people who are equally appalled that olive oil wasn’t virgin, it can also be a bit overwhelming to the world around you, including strangers on a plane who do not share your passion.

What I heard:
Woman: “Would you like to try it?”
Man: “Well, what is it. I’m picky about cheese.”
Woman: “Don’t worry then. It’s Asiago.”
Man: “Hmm?”
Woman: (getting very loud) “You haven’t eaten Asiago cheese?”
Man: “No. Is it any good?”
Woman: “Any good? It’s amazing!”
Man: “What does it taste like?”
Woman: “Well, you know parmesan… wait. You don’t like parmesan?” (nearly announcing it to the plane/ to herself out of disbelief) “He doesn’t like parmesan!” (to the man again) “You obviously aren’t Italian.”
Man: (gives a small laugh- probably afraid to be in such close proximity to this woman with no viable escape).
Woman: “But I still can’t believe you don’t like parmesan. You must be Irish.”